All Things Work Together For Good
written by Wendy & Clint Asbell, humble servants of the Most High God; thankful parents of Brandon, Amanda,
Sarah (with Jesus), Joshua, Caleb, Bethany, Rebecca (with Jesus), and Josiah (with Jesus).

We had two children in 1992 and 1994. We had plans to have one more child and then do what seemed a rite of passage these day, have one of us sterilized. In 1995, we had our first miscarriage. After seeing some spotting, we had an ultrasound that showed our baby had died much earlier. The doctor told us allowing it to happen naturally was better for the body so we chose that method. It took 8 weeks for it to happen at home but we are glad we chose that peaceful way over the medical procedures. Sarah was born through miscarriage on July 14.

It was through our loss of Sarah God revealed He wanted us to surrender control over our reproductive lives. We struggled with it and finally gave Him control and then He blessed us with three children who came in 1999, 2001, and 2003. We are so thankful that we gave God control over our fertility because we can not imagine life without any of our children. We came so close to not knowing them at all. Through that, we learned to rejoice that we had known Sarah because God worked a blessing in our life through her short stay with us. If it had not been for her early death, we would not have the children we have today.

August 26, 2004, we again had another early miscarriage that took Rebecca from us. Our hearts were filled with sorrow and disappointment. The baby things we had already purchased for her in eager anticipation were tearfully put away. We thanked God for allowing us to be her parents even temporarily and for being the people to which He made her known. God touched our womb with another child just a couple of months later. We were so happy.

Neither of us will forget April 10, 2005. At 21 weeks pregnant, Wendy woke up to contractions. We went to the hospital and an ultrasound showed Josiah was dead. Before we even knew there was a problem, he was gone. Wendy's body went into labor and delivered him naturally while we were alone in the hospital room. It was quiet and very sad, but we faced it together. Clint delivered Josiah into his hands and held him. We cremated him per the law in our state and buried him at home as a family.

Because we were further along and Josiah was formed enough that there was a body to see and hold, this miscarriage hurt us deeper. It was like having our hearts ripped right out of us. Josiah could have laid in your hand with his head at your fingers and his rump at the base of your palm. His long, skinny legs and arms hung over. His irises were already tinted blue. His skin was a deep tan and he had all of his fingers and toes. Most people would probably shrink away from his underdeveloped form, but he was our child and we found him to be absolutely beautiful.

Our prayer was that God would allow Josiah's death be used for good and not be wasted. Our pain was very deep but we had walked with God long enough to know that He does nothing without purpose according to His perfect will. We had seen how He had woven events in the past to bring goodness out of bad things.

Life returned to normal, but we still mourned for Josiah. The doctor wanted to run some tests to see if there was a cause to keep us from having more miscarriages. Wendy did not feel up to the tests at the time so we waited until October. The appointment was made for October 20th at 9 a.m. We left the house at 8:15. The office staff was short three people and we waited well past an hour to be seen. When we were called back, they did not know why we were there. No one had written it down in the charts and it was complete and total confusion for a while. Then they realized that we should have been told to go to the lab where they needed to draw the bloodwork. So, they called and set up an appointment for there, but the appointment was hours away.

We ate lunch, did some grocery shopping and then went to the lab. That office only had two people come in and they were running very behind as well. Everyone in the waiting room was in a bad mood and grumbling loudly. The two office staff were in foul moods as well. Not liking the environment inside, we took our two year old daughter and sat outdoors. We told them to call us when they needed us. We waited over six hours for a three minute blood draw of seven vials of blood.

We went home and tried to make the best of our day by trying to catch up on the work that had fallen behind while we were at the doctor's office. Clint went to work for a few hours so the day was not a total loss. Wendy rushed around checking the children's homeschool, doing chores and feeding animals. We fed the children supper and continued trying to do what was necessary so we could get to bed on time. We were so busy we forgot to eat. When we remembered, neither felt like cooking, so we decided to make the 5 minute trip to the store to pick up something ready made. We left at 9:55 p.m.

One minute down the road, we were almost killed in a near head on collision. The speeding, weaving truck just missed us as it went past. We barely had time to utter anything when we saw a brilliant flash in the sky behind us. Thinking it was lightning, we almost kept going. Simutaneously, we felt an overwhelming sense that we needed to turn around and investigate.

The night went from quiet to chaotic in seconds. Our world was filled with screaming, smoke and fire.

The truck had left the opposite side of the road on a curve. It had traveled down a ditch and hit a culvert pipe and tore it partially out of the ground. At this point, the truck had gone airborn for a distance about as wide as a two lane highway. Then, it struck a telephone pole and snapped it into three pieces causing powerlines at the intersection to fall. We had driven over and under some but had not seen them due to darkness. The truck did a 180 at the pole and then slid backwards down the length of another ditch coming to rest when the back end of the truck hit the culvert pipe there.

We immediately started praying for God's help. The driver, 22, was clearly dead and had been thrown from his seat across the length of the truck. The young woman, 19, in the passenger's seat was screaming for help. Clint tried to open her door, which was embedded into the ground, while Wendy called 911. The fire was growing at an alarming rate. Other people came on the scene, but they were too stunned to help. Most were standing on the other side of the road behind our van because they were afraid the truck would explode. The victim saw the fire lapping through the crumpled front of the truck onto the smashed windshield and became hysterical and was begging us to pull her out. A man brought a fire extinguisher, but did not know he needed to aim the extinguisher at the base of the flames. Clint took it from him and put the fire out. The fire stayed out for a minute and then sprang right back. We could see fluids from under the truck not too far from the fire. The victim was screaming by this point and trying to get herself out. The door would not budge.

Clint pulled her out through the window as gently as he could and put her into Wendy's care. Then he went back and put out the fire again, which continued to spring back to life and spread rapidly. We called the young woman's mother and kept the stunned victim distracted until paramedics arrived. Clint tried to remove the deceased man's body to keep it from being damaged by the fire. He felt his mother should have her son to bury in the best condition possible. He was unable to remove him because his feet were trapped at the driver's side between the steering wheel, which was pushed up against the seat. When we finally were released to go home, we were tired and covered with blood. Paramedics and firemen have told us since the accident that was the worst one they have ever seen and they were surprised anyone survived.

We have developed a relationship with the young woman, her family and the victim's family. She thanks us every time we hear from her. We tell her it was God Who spared her life and point her to Him. She is still having a hard time coping with the events of that night. One day soon, when she is ready, she will come to speak with us about the events of that night. She recently told us she is expecting a baby. The baby she was carrying that night, unknown to everyone, is fine and growing healthy in her womb. The young man's mother is so happy to have a part of him still. Everyone considers the baby a special gift from God during a time of loss and mourning. As we continue to mourn our son, we are able to help them during their grief.

We stand in awe of how God used the events in our life to help others. If we had not lost Rebecca, we would not have conceived Josiah a few months later. If we had not lost him so close behind losing Rebecca, the doctor would not have suggested the blood test for recurrent miscarriages. If we had not gone to the doctor's office, our day would have probably been on a normal schedule and we would not have ran out for a late supper. If we had not run out for the supper, we would not have been there for Clint to put out the fire and pull the girl out of the burning truck. If God had not woven these events as precisely as they happened there could have been another outcome and two more lives could have been lost.

While no one can say for certain what God had in mind through the events in our lives, we believe God has worked good from our loss of Josiah, just as He does in all events in the lives of those who love Him. Sometimes the reasons why are easily perceived and sometimes they pass us by unnoticed, but rest assured "...all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.

This has been published in periodicals both in print and via internet. It is free to use as a source of encouragement to those facing pregnancy/infant loss as long as you print it in it's entirety and give credit and a url back to this site.

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